Never Leave

DVBBS-Never-Leave

I could be here all night, just praying it wouldn’t end

Pretending that it was alright, that this is more than just pretend

More than a game of make believe

Where all my hopes aren’t here to deceive

My heart into further disappointment

Your touch the gentlest ointment

For a lifetime of sorrow

A lifetime I’ll return to tomorrow

Just please let me sit one more night with you

And pretend that this mirage is somehow true

Or true enough to transcend

This fairytale land

And infiltrate the world that I call real

I’m too desperate to allow myself to feel

That reality knocking on my conscious door

“Please, please just one minute more”

I say, drowning out the knocking

And the satanic voices mocking

The deep internal fire

Growing quickly to desire

Daring bravely to believe

That you might hold me once and never leave.

Advertisements

Walden 2010: Friends 2.0

IN CELEBRATION OF THE FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY EXPERIENCE IN LIVING OUT OF MY CAR, I AM POSTING A SERIES OF JOURNAL ENTRIES NEVER BEFORE REVEALED. THE HOPE OF MY WALDEN SERIES IS TO SHARE BOTH A JOURNEY AND … Continue reading

Walden 2010: Role Reversal

In celebration of the five year anniversary of my experience in living out of my car, I am posting a series of journal entries never before revealed. The hope of my Walden series is to share both a journey and a story of my attempts to live and find a real and living God. I hope the snippets entertain and inspire you as much as my experience of them has entertained and inspired me.

new_ludditeJournal Entry April 2010…

“The strangest experience was a conversation I had with an old co-worker of mine whom I ran into on campus. We debated for an hour or so about the roll of money. He wanted to abolish the money system altogether and go back into agrarian communes and while I was attempting to explain to him the benefits of capitalism and the success of supply and demand within the markets. It occurred to me then that we were both living each others philosophies. He spoke of selflessness and the selfishness of capitalists. He said that we should have to go back to necessities only and learn to trade and work with each other. I spoke of the great purpose of advancements in technology and how it benefits society and how money provides incentives for such advancements. Perhaps this leads to externalities that provide extra modern conveniences, but why use a card catalog when you can use the internet on your i-phone? 

         The point IS that when our conversation was over he would go to his house with his mom and eat some food in a refrigerator and think about how I was a cynic of humanity and how I was hardened and selfish myself. Whilst I was going to crawl into my sleeping bag and eat seventy cent spinach from a can and wonder if I was going to get interrupted that night from campus police, or if I should park on a side street of my old neighborhood…”