IN CELEBRATION OF THE FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY EXPERIENCE IN LIVING OUT OF MY CAR, I AM POSTING A SERIES OF JOURNAL ENTRIES NEVER BEFORE REVEALED. THE HOPE OF MY WALDEN SERIES IS TO SHARE BOTH A JOURNEY AND A STORY OF MY ATTEMPTS TO LIVE AND FIND A REAL AND LIVING GOD. I HOPE THE SNIPPETS ENTERTAIN AND INSPIRE YOU AS MUCH AS MY EXPERIENCE OF THEM HAS ENTERTAINED AND INSPIRED ME.
There’s a dance going on, and I want to be in it. The three parts of the trinity are dancing with one another, each is giving glory to one another in equal parts and around they go…They are dancing with one another.
That’s what Jeff Saferite, the Chi Alpha pastor, spoke on that Tuesday night. He spoke on the dance.
“What happens if a part of the trinity decided to withhold the glory they were giving to the other two parts?” He asked.
I was crying. I was trying not to cry, rather. The girl sitting next to me (I know, now, that her name is Robin) would think that I was crazy if I let the water works flow freely. And I don’t know that I could have taken any patronizing looks. “you poor thing!” So I kept my tears mostly to myself.
“Then that part would become a post forcing the other two to dance around that one…it wouldn’t be a mutual, relationship.”
He was trying to help us understand why God was different than Allah. Why is it important that we have a three-part God? So we know that God understands relationships. And how are we supposed to live in relationship with him? By dancing… except I had given up the dance somewhere along the way. I went and danced with someone else, a post as luck would have it. I was so tired of dancing around that post! I wanted to dance with God again.
The service finished, and I left without a word to anyone. I sat on the table outside the bistro and watched them pack their equipment and leave. I bet they were going to IHop for late night breakfast and fellowship. I sat outside. I didn’t do any schoolwork. instead I sent a Facebook message to the Chi Alpha pastor and went to sleep in my car.
Facebook Message April 27th, 2010
Tonight’s Chi Alpha
“I just wanted to say that I really needed to hear what you had to say tonight. And if there was someone who was going to be touched by what you said it was me. It was oddly convicting, which I needed. I know I’ve not been around to be a real part of your community. Which is shameful to me now, because I feel like someone like you deserves something better than just the scraps of my time.
I suppose I don’t really need to elaborate much except to say that at the end of Thessalonians Paul writes and says “But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good” and that I’ve found my self in the odd position of knowing what it is to be in a dance with God, but not dancing with him any more and not understanding entirely why I’m not dancing with him anymore. But after tonight I think I know. Or at least know in part.
Thanks for the revelation.